DISCLAIMER: Open-water swimming is inherently dangerous. Open-water swimmers risk drowning, hypothermia, hyperthermia, heart attacks, panic attacks, cramping, jelly fish stings, fish bites, boat or jet-ski collisions, collisions with floating or submerged objects (including other swimmers), and other calamities that can be injurious, disabling or fatal! The "West Neck Pod" is an informal association of open-water swimmers who swim "outside the lines" with no lifeguard protection, it has no formal membership, organizational structure or legal identity, and its participants, including the author of this blog, make no representations and assume no liability with respect to its group open-water swims. All swimmers who participate in West Neck Pod group open-water swims do so at their own risk. Be careful out there!

Monday, October 25, 2010

New 12-Step Program Forming for "Aquaholics"


Are you an open-water "Aquaholic"?  To find out, answer Yes or No to the following statements:
  • You check the tide tables on a daily basis, even in the off-season.
  • You usually know the air temperature, water temperature, wave heights, and wind direction and speed for your local beach.
  • You made the above picture your screensaver.
  • You have been the only one to show up for an early-morning swim, and you actually think about swimming alone even though you know it violates the #1 safety rule of open-water swimming.  
  • You actually do swim alone when no one else shows up.
  • You have posted at least one picture of you wearing your speedo or wetsuit on Facebook or Twitter.
  • You own more than one wetsuit.
  • You have taken a shower on the beach, using shampoo and/or soap.
  • You want to swim farther and farther each time you swim.
  • As you swim, you are mentally calculating when you will be able to get in your next open-water swim.
  • You talk about "swimming to Connecticut."
  • You have swum at least one long-distance event (5K/10K) and can't wait to do it again.
  • Your friends are tired of hearing you talk about swimming.
  • You crave salt.
  • You are definitely not a morning person, but you get up at 5:00 in the morning, arrive at the beach in darkness, and swim for nearly an hour before you go to work.
  • You do this more than once a week.
  • Reading "The Water-Blog" or "The Water-Log" is the highlight of your day.
  • You used to be afraid of the water, but now you love it when the water is really rough and you are tossed around by the waves.
  • You are still swimming in the open water in October.
  • You are still swimming in the open water in November.
  • You are still swimming when the water temperature is less than your age.
  • You are depressed at the thought of the open-water season ending.
  • You have been binging on potato chips, pretzels, and salt water taffy.
If you answered Yes to five or more of the above, then you are almost certainly an open-water "aquaholic."  Fortunately, a confidential 12-step program is now available to help you and your fellow aquaholics resume a normal land-based life.  For information about meetings in your area, call 1-800-LUV-SALT, and tell the operator that you are a "Friend of Barnacle-Bill's."  An adjunct chlorine-maintenance program is also available to help get you through the long winter months.  Remember, the first step to recovery is admitting that you are powerless over saline....  See you in the Rooms...

11 comments:

  1. hello? hello?

    anyone there? The sun is out and today looks like a perfect day.........................

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  2. Cute. Don't swim my yourself again. >:(

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  3. It is a perfect dayn- . Rub it it ( jealous !! ). 70 degress outside, blue sky. Is this really Late October?

    And Carol you forgot one

    - Having all your swim gear in your car just in case you can bail from work to swim at lunch.
    ( not like I have done that one too.. no wait I have :) )

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  4. That is so funny!! See you in the rooms indeed. I answered yes to too many including "your friends are tired of hearing you talk about swimming" - you can add family to that! It's all worth it.

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  5. Dear 1-800-LUV-SALT,

    F.U.

    To the buoy and back today!

    If this is addiction, then I don't want to be sober. The water was glorious today. The wetsuit stays.

    Signed,

    High on Open Water Endorphins in Greenlawn

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  6. Is there a support group for friends and family of Aquaholics? Or should we just give in and start swimming?

    :)

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  7. I forgot to sign my name; and Rob didn't realize it was me.

    I don't really know if I could ever get in the salt. Cold water isn't the issue. I'm just a bad swimmer.

    Maybe Rob could tow me along? :)

    Christine (Rob Martell's wife)

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  8. We can fix that swimming issue with a good wetsuit and me giving you a few lessons. OWS in May it is for you then. :)

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  9. The open water has a way of motivating you to become a better swimmer! Hope to see you (and maybe a few other spouses/significant others) in the Salt next season!

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  10. Well, all I can do is slow the pod down, drown or love it!

    If they can build a suit to fit me, I will come!

    Christine :)

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